moved on?

Visiting Waco last weekend was a refreshing experience. Staying with a dear friend and visiting with many others, gallivanting to and from favorite shops, and indulging at most of my favorite Waco dives, it was fun to be back in my college town. I even lucked out and got a little quality time with Baylor itself; because it's summer, campus was deserted, allowing it to be just me and Baylor- the way I love it.

While it felt good to be back, I think it felt even better when I realized that my attachment to Baylor and Waco has severely weakened since graduation. My heart does twinge when I think of many friends who will be returning to school in just a few weeks, but I think I've begun moving past Baylor. It was an incredible, practically blissful four years, but I'm happy to say that I'm excited about what's happening in my life now as well as what might be just around the corner. Trust me, this wasn't an overnight process, in fact, I fought it the whole way. Nevertheless here I am: removed and okay with it. Incredibly thankful for a beautiful past but sincerely grateful for a future.

There has never been the slightest doubt in my mind that the God who started this great work in you would keep at it and bring it to a flourishing finish on the very day Christ Jesus appears.

Philippians 1:6

[The Message]

5.15.2010

Dear Graduation,

you actually happened.
you're the conclusion I've been dreading.

you came and went before I knew it.

you force me into a murky, unclear place of transition

and leave me asking questions like, "what next?"

Graduation, you're kinda scary, completely surreal, and almost too liberating- all at the same time. All I see before me is time and possibility and I have no idea where to go...

but graduation, I want you to know that I'm also very proud of you. You are the culmination of four years of work, joy, and growth and even if I fought against you, in some ways, it was nice to finally meet you last Saturday.

last week

I've been a little absent in this place lately. I tend to shy away from writing whenever I'm overwhelmed and I've experienced a lot in the last week to say the least. Please allow me to play a little catch-up.

My last week in Waco can be summed up in food and friends. Unwilling to forget anything, my roommates and made of list of our favorite things and places in Waco and scheduled them all into days. Staying true to form, we of course didn't exactly stay with the schedule. But no matter what we did, the bottom line of last week is that we were always together; Cupps, the zoo, George's, Lolita's, What About Cupcakes, frolicking on campus, the Suspension Bridge, late night hangouts- sharing our last Waco moments together was what really mattered.

I'm a firm believer in full circle stories and beautiful, sweet, tiny details. I love them and because God knows that I love them, He filled my week with them:
Last week, I ran into almost all of my freshman year friends- some of which I haven't spoken to since the end of my freshman year. We got to catch-up and revel a little in how far we have come. From my off off campus house, I heard the campus bell tower chime in the new day, graduation day. Many lasts, many conversations- all of which were centered around love and friendship- just the way I wanted to leave it all.

one week

We've made a list of our favorite Waco dives and things to do and we're checkin it twice.

If you had only one week left in your city, what would you spend your time doing?

fini

Dunzo. no more. fini.

Goodbye textbooks.

So long ridiculous research papers.

Buh-bye exams.

It's quite a spectacular feeling- I must admit.

kinda ready.

image

Yesterday, while prepping for a final, I had a realization. In the warmness of a perfect spring day, while sitting under the shade of mammoth trees in the heart of campus, feeling the wind flit across my face, I understood that I am ready to leave school. Baylor has done what it was meant to do; it has challenged and changed me. I understand that to stay, would be to linger in a world that has become all too comfortable. To stay would mean sinking down, instead of rising up to new challenges and adventures. Therefore, for all of those reasons, I'm ready to leave college.

However, that doesn't mean that I'm not grappling with the brittle truth that I am about to leave many dearly loved people. Knowing that I won't get to experience certain people in my day to day life after graduation is basically heart-wrenching. I wish I had a positive spin to add on, but I don't...except that friendships don't end just because people move. They end when people stop making a place for them in their lives. Friends, there's always space enough for you in my life. You don't have to tell me twice.

baylor flash mob

Reason #398 why I love Baylor:

pat: baylor dreams come true

I've basically had a love affair with the Pat Neff building on Baylor's campus since I moved into my freshman year dormitory. The big white columns, the bells that not only chime the time but songs as well, and the fact that the tower is lit green at night- Pat, in a word (or two) is so Baylor. Last week I had the priviledge to go up in the bell tower and even play the bells! So cool! Seriously, it was a Baylor dream come true.

questions.

Last night, a few friends and I went to a screening of Beware of Christians, a new film by a Baylor student. It's a documentary where four college guys travel around Europe for five weeks forgetting the rules, losing the excuses, and leaving behind everything in the hopes of discovering something bigger about both themselves and what it means to follow Jesus. In each city, they center-in on a specific topic like money, materialism, sexuality, or alcohol- which they interview people about on the street. Not only are the responses thought-provoking, but because the guys are bare and honest with their struggles, doubts, and missteps, the movie pricks the heart.

They ask questions instead of resting on what others have told them. They're seeking out answers instead of running from them- all with bold, open hearts. If nothing else, it's an absolute comfort to be reminded that I'm not the only one who doesn't have life figured out and that Christianity isn't a walk in the park. The movie left me with a lot to mull over, reevaluate in regards to my relationship with the world, and take to Jesus to consider.

On a less serious note, a beautiful thing about the film (besides Euro, oh how I want to go!) is the incredible bond between the guys- it's so evident even from an outsiders' perspective. Friendship really is one of the most beautiful things in this life.

Thanking God today for people who aren't afraid to ask questions they don't have answers to.

campus bloom

Girls in sun dresses, guys playing campus golf, fratty tank tops galore on the Bear Trail, and fresh flowers every which way you gaze. Baylor is definitely in bloom.

an elite sunday

It wasn't the way we hoped it would end, but what a ride it has been. A sea of 40,000+ Baylor fans in Houston to cheer on a team and program that has been on a magnificient journey of restoration- not just this season, but for the last seven years. What a pleasure its been to watch it all- not always pretty, not always successful- but always overflowing with incredible heart. That's something to always cheer for.


At lunch before the game, I couldn't help noticing the various groups of Baylor fans dining: not just college students and families, but also groups of old friends. People who graduated two and ten years ago, meeting up to catch up on life and cheer on their Bears. Years after leaving campus, the bond that started there has continued on- something I'm so glad to see is possible. Friends, let's make this us next year, in ten years, and forty more.

we'll fling our green and gold afar

All images found through Google and www.weheartit.com

Thinking green and gold thoughts all weekend for the Baylor Bears! Sweet Sixteen, here we go- Sic'em Bears!

lately...

Image found here

Lately...
-the weather is lovely- thanks, God.
-I find myself doing lots of "Baylor things"
-men's basketball team is playing in the Sweet Sixteen for the first time everrr
-I have to close my ears to avoid hearing sophomores and juniors countdown to summer
-I find my group of friends reveling in simply one another's company
-I may have finished a big, important application
-however unwilling I am to part with Baylor, I've realized that many, or actually most of the things I have dreamed about for my whole life are still to come somewhere up the road. I'm realizing how liberating and thrilling that is; the adventure has only barley begun and the best is yet to come.

midterm week

This morning I watched Baylor wake up from my favorite swing.

Image found [here]

I'm treasuring those moments of quiet and still as I push through the remaining tests and papers due this week.

and then there was spring

Image found {here}

Well, it's over.

I think SING has been one of the hardest things for me to experience for the last time, because I knew that it was the end of more than just one thing. Last night was the last time to perform with Tri Delt. Last night was the last time to perform on Waco Hall Stage. Last night was the last time for me to dance in front of an audience, maybe forever. Being apart of a dance studio for fifteen years, I wasn't sure how I would handle not dancing everyday when I came to Baylor. Thankfully, I found a few HP (that would be PE to nonBaylorites) dance classes and Pigskin and SING to take the studio's place. The feeling right before the curtain goes up and the way you can move across the stage without even having much of an idea that someone is out beyond the bright lights- I miss it already. Even more, I'll miss the freedom I found on stage. For four minutes, seven minutes- however long I'm dancing on stage- not a single other thought enters my mind- not about the future, not about how my day was- nothing. Just freedom and movement and breathing. It's almost magical.

With SING being over, it's like a sheet is raised and all of a sudden, I can see spring and the rest of the semester. The tunnel vision that SING has forced is gone and suddenly there are more hours in the day and more possibilities of things to do. It's suddenly a whole different semester. You know that days of warmth, and sun bathing, road trips and parks, and leisurely hang out time are close.

And even closer is Spring Break. Unfortunately for me, three tests and two papers are blocking my view of the Colorado Rockies that will be my present this time next week. How badly do I want to frolic around with my new found time instead of study? Pretty bad. How stupid a decision would that be? Real stupid. Books, you've won for now...four days from now, your reign is over.

it's coming...

1st Place All-University Sing 2009: Tri Delta with "Fresh Pickens"

This week, the Baylor bubble waits with baited breath for the unveiling of Sing 2010. As usual, rumors have flown wild for weeks about various groups' themes and potential. And as usual, it's all talk- at least until this Thursday when six weeks, and for sing chairs, a year's worth of work and practice are unveiled as the curtain goes up for six performances spanning two weekends. If you've never experienced Sing, it's hard to really understand it. And I'm sorry dear friends at other schools that have "something that's just like Sing, just smaller," but there's nothing like Baylor's All- University Sing. Yes, it's ridiculous. Yes, it's crazy. Yes, it's incredible. AHHHH- so excited for Club Night! And although I can't obviously unveil anything about Tri Delt's act at this time, I will tell you that we're back and ready to fight!

To watch a video about Sing from 2009, click below!
http://www.baylor.edu/student_productions/index.php?id=54617

last times

Little by little, I'm collecting "last time" memories. At the beginning of the semester, I promised myself that I wouldn't dwell on the fact that this is my last year and I think I've stayed true to the promise. But still, you can't help but notice when these moments come by. Something inside tells me to pull these memories in tight, they're the ones I'll never forget.

Running the Baylor Line for the last time at our last Baylor football game as students.

this morning.

image found here
With a few clicks of the mouse this morning, I officially registered for the last five classes of my college career. They tell me the next step is graduating...weird.

barfield

A few things to love about the Barfield Drawing Room and the 2nd floor of the SUB:

• the quiet- Barfield offers a startling silence- you really could probably hear a pen drop. Great for studying and even greater for napping
• (too) comfortable couches (see #1)
• random run-ins with friends- you never know who you might see and what conversation you might have
• talented musicians- the multiple pianos on the floor allow many harmonious eavesdropping opportunities