those days

We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. Hebrews 6:19

Some days it's easy to take a quick glance at myself and lose hope. It sometimes feels and looks like I'm doing nothing and that nothing ever will come of me.  Those, of course, are the days when I listen to my flesh and the world. I let myself forget the Hope I have inside of me.

The writer of Hebrews is right, the Hope I have truly is my anchor for everything. It's the one thing I cling to today and every other day when I know little to nothing about what's going to happen in my life. I cling to Hope because Jesus is my one security in this life and I know that He has great things for me.

On the days that I do remember this Hope, I cling to it with all I have. Like a buoy in the raging sea, it keeps me above the water. Even more, on those days, I feel such a relief because I remember that the future isn't all on me. He who gives me great dreams, will also bring a means to realizing those great dreams. After all, they weren't my dreams to begin with, but His. On those days, I feel an incredible glow, or better yet, power from within because on those days I remember that Jesus is not only my anchor, but also my provider. His plans and dreams for my life exceed my most daring ones. 

He is my hope secure, my anchor strong.

I really like those days.

if i don't leave waco...

Image found here

I had a fleeting thought as I drove north on I35 yesterday, "If I don't leave Waco, will the semester have to end?" I've secretly been using the spring semester as a cushion for my future, knowing that even if it was my, ahem, senior year, I still had another semester after the fall. And that's still true today, but saying goodbye to Fall 2009 was hard. And as embarassing as it might be, yes, a few tears were shed in the car on the way home. I can't hide from time or change- just make the most of both. Time marches on, and so must I.

getting on the bus

Yesterday, a wonderful friend went for her dream. She is applying to appear on Extreme Makeover Home Edition as a designer and as a part of her application, wanted to make a video to show the people at Extreme Makeover exactly how much she wants this.

So picture this: a gorgeous afternoon on Baylor campus. A crowd of sixty or seventy students with balloons and signs cheering on the side of the street. A chant of "Lisa, get on that bus" (a la "Move that Bus"). Then one of Baylor's giant campus tour buses rolling down the street with Lisa waving from the open door. President Garland even happened to stroll out of Pat Neff just in time to make an appearance in the filming. You better believe a Sic'em was thrown in the mix too.

So much love and excitement in that scene- all because of Lisa's dream and her willingness to chase after that bus- with all she has.

For many people I know (including myself), a bus of their very own will be coming in the somewhat near future. I just learned yesterday about another friend who will be moving to Austin after graduation. Plans are starting to form. Routes being drawn. Where in the world will my bus be headed? I have no idea, but thoughts and dreams are beginning to sprout up.

Baylor, my bus may be on it's way, but it's nice to know that for at least a few more months, I'm staying right here.

Girl got on that bus!

*Photos by Ryan Brinson*

door number 1

The following are just a few reasons why I want to move to Paris- oui oui!
All pictures found at the lovelyhttp://sunday-suppers.blogspot.com/

wrestling with worry

I've never considered myself much of a worrier. However, lately I've been struggling with worries that a few certain things will never happen in my life and that others things that I don't care to ever deal with will come knocking. I know I'm being quite cryptic here, but the point is that I've let worry creep in where faith should reign.

Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart. Psalm 37:4

One verse puts things all into perspective. There's no use in worrying- I can't make things happen or not happen not compared to God. And why even worry I fully know that being the faithful and steadfastly loving God that He is, God will give me the desires of my heart, all in good time, all in His time. So I'm going to try to let go and live. Live the abundant life He wants to give and stop asking when or how.. because somewhere along the way, my dreams will find me.

Isn't His love the best?

a prayer

I wanna set the world on fire
Until it's burning bright for You
It's everything that I desire
Can I be the one You use?

I, I am small but
You, You are big enough
I, I am weak but
You, You are strong enough to
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings

Lord with You
Nothing I can not do
Nothing I cannot do
Take my dreams
Come and give them wings
Lord with You
Nothing I cannot do
Nothing I cannot do

My hands my feet
My everything
My life, my love
Lord, use me

I wanna set the world on fire
lyrics to "Set the World on Fire" by Nicole Britt

i see it in the sky

For the past week and a half I've been praying for God to give me his eyes to see what the future holds. Looking towards May, I feel like I'm being dropped by Baylor in the middle of a giant field at which point they're going to tell me "go."

Go where?

Do what?

That's up to me to figure out.

So, I've been praying. And not that I expected a James Earl Jonesish voice to call out while I walk to class but, I have to admit that I've kind of been nothing but frustrated. It may not be true, but it feels like everywhere around me, people's plans for the ever after beyond graduation are beginning to take form. And then there's me.

In the middle of the field.

Unsure and uncomfortable.

Yesterday when I woke up, the new familiar feeling of frustration was still there, but while getting ready I realized something. If you know much about me, you probably know that I love sunsets. I gawk at them, coo about them, and probably drive people crazy with my pictures. Nonetheless, they are a way that God speaks to me and shows me a glimpse of his true beauty.

What I realized yesterday morning was that for the past week, Waco has experienced a series of incredible sunsets. Every night, wherever I've been, I've rushed outside at the sight of pink and orange stretching across the sky. Then it hit me- even though I don't know where I'm going or what I'm going to do, if God gives me beautiful sunsets on a regular basis just because he knows how they speak to my heart, than certainly, he has a destination for me. I can't see it today, but I can see his beauty- that will have to be enough for this day.

To top it off, my dad sent this following quote to me at the end of last week (and I must say, he had no idea that these were the thoughts running through my head):

Augustine of Hippo; who when viewing a sunset in Africa long, long ago said,

"If these are the pleasures afforded sinful men, what does God have in store for those whose hearts are his?"

Let's go God. Bring it on, future.