I know that we’re past Thanksgiving. Trees are up, lights have been strung, and you're working hard to dodge the ten minute rendition of “The Twelve Days of Christmas” on the radio (or is that last one just me?), but I didn’t want November slip away without me sharing what I’m dearly grateful for this year.
I am so thankful for the last six months.
Wait. Hold the phone, Caitlin. Haven’t you hated sitting around, feeling pathetic for not knowing what you were going to do with your life? Struggling to find something, anything that remotely appeared to be a career?
Oh, yes. You are completely correct.
Yet even though the last six months have been trying and may appear on the surface to have been incredibly unproductive, they have involved a lot of work on the heart, mind, and soul.You see, without a lot to do, there’s a lot of time to think. Think, think and rethink.
Even though I didn’t admit it, I felt pretty reckless, foolish, and to be completely honest, wasteful, about graduating without a single prospect or plan. It seems to me now, that God in His great mercy saw that there were things to address and work on before I could go on and out into the wild future. I heard a quote by John Mayer the other day, "To evolve, you have to dismantle." That's I exactly what I've had to do.
The last six months have brought clarifications, lessons, and even a revelation or two. God who is forever faithful, met me in the trenches complete with rolled-up sleeves, to work out fears, crazy ideas, and misunderstandings. It’s been a time of studying and learning, of fear and angst, rest and reassurance. It’s been the opportunity to once again share day to day life with my parents. It’s been the chance to see and even work for a dear friend that I don’t always have the chance to see on a regular basis. It’s been a time to just be, get back to me and come closer to Jesus.
If you read my blog regularly, thanks for sticking in there when all I did was mope and complain. Thanks for listening and coming back. I’m thankful for you and for the last six months that have allowed me to dismantle and evolve. Above all, I’m thankful for a God who gives dreams- big dreams- wild, impossible ones. I’m thankful that God is not satisfied with ho-hum existence and isn’t willing to allow it for me – or you. Happy Thanksgiving.
My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. Psalm 73:26